The 9 Lives of the Blender - My Bad Pad

The 9 Lives of the Blender

In 1921, Stephen Poplawski put a spinning blade at the bottom of a container to make soda fountain drinks. Tada! The blender was born. Smoothies, salsa, and frothy beverages have never tasted so sweet (or spicy)! Of all of the incarnations of the basic blender, we listed 9 of the most pimped out models to be developed.

The Food Processor

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This ostentatious appliance towers over its blending predecessors with interchangeable blades and disks; the food processor takes on solids and semi solids to deliver kneaded dough or baby food in a whir of powerful chopping, mixing or grinding action. Think you’re never too old to be tricked into eating your peas? You better be careful with this bad-boy in the kitchen. Who knows what will get thrown in there next. Yipe!

The Juicer

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Juicers aren’t just for dieters, hippies that only eat raw food, or old people that can’t go regularly. The hard core Acme Juicer is the ideal appliance for real men, using a gyroscope and clutch to deliver sweet, crisp nectar. The blades turn 60 revolutions per second, proving that if Bond needed one at a moment’s notice, this would be his juicer of choice. Whether your juicer has a gyroscope or a Jack LaLanne signature, make a toast to your health! The inventor of this brilliant machine lived to be 108!

The Salsa Blender

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Things get spicy when you add fresh peppers and garlic to your homemade tomato salsa. Or try mango or mint salsa and add some ole to your entertaining style. This speedy Gonzales among salsa blenders not only crafts incredibly smooth or chunky salsa, it whips up icy beverages, such as pina coladas and daquiris. Who doesn’t love a fiesta?

The Margarita Blender

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You don’t need tickets to a Jimmy Buffet concert to understand the popularity of this drink! Ever seen a “jumbo” Margarita glass in a Mexican restaurant? They hold more water than any toilet bowl! Margarita blenders are unique because they have a chamber for crushed ice at the top of the blender console. It’s like two blenders in one! Just don’t handle the blades for cleaning after having a few.

The Smoothie Blender

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The Smoothie Elite, debuted in 2003, after smoothie specialty shops, such as Jamba Juice, had struck trendy, cold gold. It features a stir-stick to break apart air pockets and a practical dispensing spout. It’s arguably the most efficient and most difficult to clean smoothie appliance available.

The Magic Bullet

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Aunts and Grandmothers everywhere were delighted to unwrap Magic Bullets from Santa last Christmas. This upside-down blender loaded with accessories packs a punch; crushing and stirring at speeds that Granny had never witnessed before in her own kitchen. The accoutrements, 21 altogether, include blades, plastic mugs, filters, and a “10 Second Recipes” book.

The Ice-Crusher

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Your kitchen will become Sno-Cone central with this ice-stomping blender. The ice-crusher is a timesaving tool for smoothies, frappuccinos, and your favorite frothy alcoholic beverages. If you’re like me and don’t like standard cubed ice from trays, crushed ice is a major upgrade. Use it to freshen up your guests’ drinks or to make a calorie-free, hydrating snack.

The Hot Cocoa Maker

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Aztec emperor Montezuma drank 50 golden goblets of hot chocolate daily (as he believed it to be an aphrodisiac) and he paid Aztec prostitutes in cocoa beans. Now if the thoughts of drinking an aphrodisiac don’t get you into a tizzy, a recent study conducted by Cornell students proved that the antioxidants in cocoa are three times more active than those found in green tea. No marshmallows? This baby can turn a flat cocoa (or latte, or chai tea) into a lathered, frothy libation that won’t disappoint on a brisk, wintry night.

The Coffee Grinder

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This barista “must-have” was a hand-crank machine in its infant years. With thousands of varieties on the market today, anyone who enjoys a morning joe can choose from the total spectrum of coffee grinding glory, from Turkish to Espresso, for paper or metal filters, and from drip-brews to french presses.