The 7 Unluckiest Appliances (& You Thought Your Job Was Bad)
May 4, 2009 by David
Despite hundreds of years of progress in the area of hygiene, we humans still produce a lot of mess. Luckily in this day and age, we have creative geniuses who have developed appliances to eliminate our odors, kill our germs and do our dirty work for us, all without having to hear them whine. Here are the 7 unluckiest appliances whose sole purpose is to make our lives easier (and you thought your job was bad).
7. Personal Bathroom Scale
From the moment you take your scale out of the cardboard box it came in, it will be frowned at, cursed out, stepped on, and spat upon. If scales had psyches, they would either suffer from bi-polar disorder or would be the bitter and catty fashionistas making snide remarks with the digital display– such as “Those pants DO make you look fat.”
6. The Body Groomer
Its name evokes thoughts of a hygienic, cutting edge epilator. But it’s really just a ‘back hair’ shaver. You know, for crony-tailed mid-lifers who want to lounge under the sun in their Borat one-piece.
Ewww… we don’t want to know how often the razor needs changing.
Since, it’s a best selling bathroom appliance; it must be good for those hard-to-reach places. *Shudder*
5. The Karaoke Machine
At least Simon Cowell is sitting on millions for eardrum abuse; too bad we can’t say the same for the rest of us. The piteous karaoke machine is an electrical deity among appliances in Japan, but also the bane of bartenders in the south. Who ever thought it was a modern advancement to let drunk people have a microphone to sing Sheryl Crow in the same key used to discipline canines?
4. The Boot, Sneaker, and Glove Dryer
This tubular ventilation system is the little hairdryer that couldn’t. It was designed to be a ski lodge amenity; however it mostly just sees rainy days and pet accidents. Even at the ritziest celebrity harem in Aspen, this machine still has to dehydrate Paris Hilton’s foot sweat from her Ugg Boots.
3. The Oral Irrigator & Sanitizer
Does it keep your toothbrushes clean or do you rinse with it? Nobody knows for sure, although we all agree that it’s a dirty, dirty job to fight mouthfuls of bacteria and rush in like a fool to greet the worst breath of the day – morning breath.
2. The Pool Vacuum
These faceless robots sweep the pine needles, band-aids, and beetles out from under your feet. They’re fun little things to chase your kids with but they are the unfortunate technological equivalent of a bottom-feeder.
1. The Automatic Litterbox
The automatic litter box knows that poop happens several times a day because its daily duty is to clump it, deodorize it, and sweep it away before you have to see it or smell it. It’s a hard-knock life being someone’s toilet and by far, the most disgusting job of all.